Iced Coffee Makes For Some Powerful Brain Activity

I usually don't come up with a title until the very end of my writing. Not that you would know that- but I was trying to think of one just now and decided to wait and see what I would write about first. Not sure what the topic is today- I only know I need to write.

Over the last year of having this blog and updating the world on the adventures of my life since moving to the West Coast, I've wondered if anyone besides me really got anything out of it. I understand that people like to know what is going on in my life and those that are close to me, like to know that I am indeed OKAY and that my heart is okay. It's been a rough process, but you have been with me through it all, whether in person, in your encouraging words, or your anonymity, I know that I have an abundant supply of encouragement and love from my cyber friends.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have gotten a couple of emails from people that have read my blog and stated that it was exaclty what they needed at this point in their lives. Some of them I do not know, some of them I do. This morning I recieved one such email while I was getting ready for work. It could be that I am incredibly emotional this week (you can guess why), or it could be the sudden realization that my writing actually gets out there... whatever the case, it made my heart happy. Happy to know that fate (or God) would cause someone to stumble across my blog and take the time to read it and it turns out to be exactly what they need at this point in their life.

I posted my email address at the end of one of my posts a few months ago for this very reason. It's always a good feeling to write and tell you what's going thru this crazy head of mine, but it's an amazing feeling to know that, not only are people reading this thing, but they are getting something out of it.

Life is throwing these situations at me that I have no clue how to deal with. I'm constantly having to ask for help and guidance - which I guess is pretty typical for a 22 year old... But I feel like I have always had a plan; for the most part I have always had the answers to my questions. I'm not sure if that's called luck or naivety. Either way, I am now dealing with things I have not had to deal with before. I am in the middle of uncharted waters, without a paddle, lacking a life vest and I'm pretty sure the "black smoke" is on his way to get me (Sorry- I had to throw in a LOST reference).

Even though I have a lot of questions right now and no answers in sight, I have an overwhelming peace in my heart. It's not something I can easily describe, but it's a feeling that lets me know that there is nothing to worry about; that things will be okay and whatever questions I have now, will EVENTUALLY be answered, and then I will know what to do and I will be able to move to the next step of this crazy mixed up life.

Lately, I've been experiencing that overwhelming urge to do something, to help someone. It never goes away, it just gets smothered by other things sometimes (finals are over, so of course, it's back!), Now that Summer is gracing us with her warm presence (and not to mention only 59 more days until my boy moves here!!), I have more time on my hands, more time to devote to something I know I need to do. I am excited to see what the next few months will bring.

Not sure if this post makes a lot of sense, but I know that the feeling I had this morning on the way to work, this urge to write, was for someone. Whoever you are, I hope it helps. I hope you realize that while life may seem unfair and it may seem like God is playing some evil trick on you, I promise you there will be answers one day. I can't promise it will be what you WANT to hear, but when you finally do get all of the answers, it will be what you NEED to hear.

Now, if only I could make a living out of this, we could all be happy campers. Until then, please pass the bug spray along to all of your friends and even your mosquitoes.

LOVELOVELOVE
-C