Baby, don't forget, you haven't lost it all yet.

All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for...

In my mind, I am a deep person. But for some reason, I cannot express those things as often as I would like. All these thoughts run through my head and they are all so intricate, but sometimes I get really frustrated because I cannot say what I am thinking or what I am feeling. Something big happens and everyone says "Well how does that make you feel?" HONESTLY..... I have no idea. How does that make me feel? This way or that.... happy, sad, contemplative, regretful, lonely.... Probably just content. Happy with my life, happy with where I am. I know this is where I need to be. I am here for a reason. I am happy that as I type each letter of this post, my computer knows which keys I am hitting.. In the same way that some people just know what to do for you when you don't have to say a word to them. There are many of those people in my life. Thank you God for that. Most of the time, I don't know how I feel, So it is nice to have those that just know.

New chapter, here we go. Work and school next week... so stoked. Learning to be who I really am. And yes, I am happy. I am free. Not confined to one place or what to what person thinks I am. This is the new me. The quirky, complicated, OCD, sometimes 5 year old that I am... that is the new me. So I will let it show and you can take it or leave it. Just as baby Noah will soon learn what life is about, I am shaping my mind to what I think... No one else. Sure, I will need help, but it's my mind and I want it shaped the best way I see fit. Couldn't do that at home. Had to get away. Thank you God for no hurricanes =) My thoughts make sense to very few people. Those are the people that stay with me. Understand it or not, they accept it. I love those people. Where would I be without them? My fingers move at a very rapid pace.. not quite as quick as my mind. So much going on up there.....

We're younger now than when we first began.

-C

We are miracles, and we're not alone...

I have been listening to this Switchfoot song called "This Is Home" from the Prince Caspian soundtrack..... If you have the chance, you should download it. It is absolutely amazing and eye opening... but try to listen to it while your doing something new... or while you are driving down the freeway with the windows down... Remember, Music needs air, so roll down your window.

Guess what? Life is good! Everyday is a new adventure out here, ones I am welcoming with open arms. God has been good to me.. That is pretty obvious... I talk to my mom and dad pretty much everyday and, even though I know it was hard for them to let their baby girl move halfway across the country, I know they can tell how happy I am and I know that makes them happy. My dad has a plane ticket he has to use soon, so I think he may come visit me! How great will that be?! I am so excited!

Not to mention, BABY NOAH WILL BE HERE SOOOOOON! It is going to be so fun having a little boy nugget, because I am only used to girl nuggets! I cannot wait! I am going to try to come home sometime in October, so if it is possible, I want to see everyone's beautiful faces!

Life out here has been so fun... Me and my cousin Amelia go to this fancy piano bar on Tuesday nights-mainly for the $2 Coronas... and we always see lots of her old friends, as well as meeting some great new ones =) Last Wednesday we went to a line dancing bar called InCahoots... Needless to say, I am a great two-stepper!

Amelia leaves for Germany next Thursday, and it's going to be really difficult not having her here. She has been so wonderful to me these last few weeks and I am going to miss her like crazy... But I am so excited for her new adventure! I am so proud of her!

Amelia's boyfriend John is in the Navy and he deployed about a week ago for 6 months, so Aunt Holly, Amelia and I have been getting him all kinds of goodies for his stay in the ocean... She wanted to do some cute pictures of her to send to him- so he doesn't forget what she looks like ;).... So that is what I have been working on this past week. I really like the way they turned out! And I even figured out my watermark! I'll only put a few up, but if you click on the picture it will take you to my Flickr where you can see the rest of them... Let me know what you think...

So that is my life as of right now... Keep checking back cause things keep changing. My heart is feeling better and lighter everyday, thanks to all of your prayers. LOVE LOVE LOVE from the west coast...

-C

But I have to..

I see your face in my mind as I drive away, Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way. People are people, And sometimes we change our minds. But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time. Music starts playin’ like the end of a sad movie, It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see. Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down, Now I don’t know what to be without you around. And we know it’s never simple, Never easy. Never a clean break, noone here to save me. You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand, And I can’t, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to. Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. But people are people, And sometimes it doesn’t work out, Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out. And we know it’s never simple, Never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me. You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand, And I can’t, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to. It’s two a.m. Feelin' like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it’s not easy, Easy for me. It’s two a.m. Feelin’ like I just lost a friend. Hope you know this ain’t easy, Easy for me. And we know it’s never simple, Never easy. Never a clean break, noone here to save me. I can’t, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to.

Westward Bound

Just a few pictures from my drive out West...

I don't have photoshop yet, so these are just what I played around with in IPhoto- pretty cool program for now though....

Life is still hoppin' along here... Still gotta find a job so I can make some moneyyyyy =)

I am trying to express myself through these photos, so you will see that some of them are brighter and friendlier and some of them are darker...

Anyways, I will let the pictures do the talking for now!

My Current Hair Color...

I thought maybe you guys would like to see some pictures of lovely California and my life out here.. It has not really started yet, considering it has only been 2 weeks, but my heart is happy knowing there is so much here to discover...

I am learning to try new things and not be so afraid... You can't really be afraid of much when you just randomly picked up and move for no other reason than healing....

My best friend from home, Phillip, spent a week with his family in Newport Beach so Amelia and I crashed the party =)

My girl =)

My new home =)

Numero Uno

Well this is the first of many to come... I decided maybe a blog would be a cool way for people at home to keep up with what is going on in my new adventurous life... I don't have much to say right now because my mind isn't working properly at the moment... but don't worry, I will have plenty to say in the future.

This is the start of something beautiful. Thanks for coming along....

-C