Grape Jelly

I wrote this blog on July 18, 2007 and posted it on my Myspace. I haven't been back to read it in about 2 or 3 years, but came across it randomly tonight. I hope you enjoy.


This morning I was running late for work, but my stomach was going crazy with hunger. So on the way I stopped at Burger King and ordered my usual 7 with a Dr. Pepper. MMMM. Always good. However, the lady forgot my grape jelly. Damn. Now I have to wait till I get to work to put jelly on my buiscut to eat it. Cause I just cannot eat that dang buiscut without jelly. Already in a bad mood cause im running late and my hunger is getting the better of me.... I race out of the parking lot towards work. Pick up my Ipod and switch the song to one of my favorites. "Holli" by Phillip Cuccias. (And for the curious- yes it is indeed Holli Denham. =] ) As I am getting closer to work (Airport and Hillcrest to be exact) is when it is getting to my favorite part in the song. The part where the intensity builds and I always, no matter what, picture this song to be the background music for some dramatic movie where, at this point, could be the climax of the movie.... that part that has you sitting on the edge of your seat with more curiosity than that dead cat..... not to mention really great music. There is a line in the song that goes "You and me, Holli, we are warriors and, we dont survive the wars, we win them" and another that says "And you said they stole from you and, yeah, you will live. But I say rise, and steal it back from them. Dont you know who Jesus is?" While speeding to work listening to this song, all of the sudden it was like time stood still.


I look over to a light pole at the intersection of this road and I see a black man, maybe 45 years old or so, sitting on his stack of newspaprs he sells everyday with his head down in his hands, looking tired, or hungry or something. Just..... Tired. Tired of life. Tired of working for nothing.. I dont know. I cant name his situation just by looking at him, but I can do the American thing and put him in a stereotype of sorts. Who doesn't? It is what we were taught to do.

So for a full 5 seconds, time stood still. I saw him and then looked over at the food in my passenger seat, and suddenly felt like a snob. Snob. Jerk. Whatever you want to call it. And then I considered stopping to give him my breakfast.

There I go again stereotyping him.

Thinking that just because he hands out papers on the side of the road means he is homeless. Still late for work, I continue driving. The whole way to work I am thinking to myself about this guy. Even tho I only saw him for a few seconds and he didnt even see me at all.... he has left a great impression on my heart. I cannot describe what I felt as I pictured him so many times throughout that day...

Guilty? Yeah.. I think so.

A little bit self-centered that I was complaining about not getting my jelly?

Definatly.

All of the sudden other pictures started coming to mind.... Pictures I have seen of starving children in 3rd world countries...kids with no clothes on at all and nothing to eat for days on end. Children who, are so malnourished that their bellies actually protrude and their limbs are as big around as my thumb. Literally. More pictures of these kids having to do slave work and carry large loads of water to and from their home, having to do all this with no nourishment , no food of any kind to give them the energy they need.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to just sit in my car and cry. But instead, I race inside so I am not late for work.

I am no different from the rest of you. Granted, some of you would have stopped and bought a newspaper from him, handed him $5 and thrown the newspaper away. Others not even noticing him at all, and others seeing him and thinking the same thoughts I had. Still we are no different. We still have the same thought process sweep through our minds of what his life might be like. Just your average stereotype. A quick and painless one that takes hardly any thought at all. "There is a man standing on the side of the interstate with a sign that says will work for food. I am not going to give him any money because he might just go spend it on beer or drugs and that is probly what made him homeless in the first place" O yeah, it has gone thru my head a number of times too. So we drive off without so much as a seciond thought as to what may have really happened to that man to get him to where he is.

So why not blame God for all the evil things in this world? He could have stopped it right? He could have "magically" sent food down from Heaven for those starving kids in Africa.

We have spent so much time trying to get God out of our world. Whether it was taking the name of God out of the Pledge of Allegiance, taking prayer out of public schools, srutinizing and reprimanding others who dare pray in school, or removing a monument of the 10 commandments from a court house in Alabama...we try and remove God from every part of this world and we have the audasity to blame him when disaster strikes.

I could go on and on about topics like these for hours on end. But that is not what inspired me to write this. The black man inspired me. I can sit back eating my Burger King, wearing my dressy work clothes, driving my car I just bought and pretend the world is amazing and wonderful and rainbows and butterflies. When all along the truth is, there is something deep inside of me gnawing at my heart. Lots of somethings actually.

Poverty.

Hunger.

Darfur.

Genocide.

AIDS.

Suicide.

Murder and Rape.

I could go on and on. But the truth is this: this morning when I saw that man, a realization came to me and hit me smack in the face. I am sick of living my life the way it is going. I hate sitting back and doing nothing to help when there is so much to be done. I am writing this as an encouragement to myself and to others to help. Get involved with something that helps anyone out. Don't be so self centered about why you cant have certain luxuries or why you cant have everything your way all the time. Pray for other countries and for the millions of people that die everyday from one thing or another. Please... just pray.

And next time you don't get your grape jelly, just smile and thank God for giving you LIFE.