Love wins.. absolutly always.
I decided to blog tonight because I have a lot going through my mind... So why not blog and get it all out, eh? I miss the fam like crazy... I miss my sweet angel Kayden... and Melody will be one soon!! Wow.... and cute little Noah that I have yet to hold in my arms... I am counting down the days.
California is good to me, but there is nothing like the innocence of a sweet child to mend a broken heart. I want the heart of a child. Loving and carefree....
Sometimes I miss the old days. I looked at old pictures today and I miss my love. That is a given. No suprise there! lol.... Simpler times it seemed. School goes on, work goes on. Friends come and go... coming more than going, thank God =) I need lots of friends. So thankful for that. Amelia is home in a month and I am once again counting down the days.
I am glad that my life is not dictated by other people. There are people around me that of course I want to make happy and and I want them to be happy with me and what I am doing in my life.... But there is one person that I live my life for, and if you know me well enough, then I do not need to tell you who that is. I feel free because it's my own life and no one elses. I answer to myself for the choices that I make. And although all of those choices may not be the right one... it is a learning process..
I still believe 100% that things and events happen for a reason. I have learned so much from the things that have happened. Now I am a little more careful with who I give my heart to... and I am little more careful with whose heart I take. I am new to both of those things, but I really am trying.
I am having fun here.... California has done me good. I love my friends... I love the new people I meet.... I love the fact that no one knows me here and no one knows anyone I know. It makes me forever happy to be new. Life is happy right now. No reason to be upset about anything. Sure, sometimes I feel like life dealt me a pretty shitty hand a few months ago.... but it must have been for some reason... something bigger than me... something that I simply cannot understand at the moment. And that is okay. I am tired of trying to figure life out... tired of planning life out. I am just going to ride the wave and see where it takes me... If it crashes, then I'll catch the next one and see if that works.... Life is about change. Whether you are ready for it or not, it is coming.
Half of my heart's got a real good imagination, healf of my heart's got you.
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